The Master's Lost It
by Sunsoarer
Summary: Even in the Force, the greatest minds can be turned into wrinkly green jello..


Disclaimer: my dustbunnies. MINE! (aka, nothing is mine on the following webpage. Except the dustbunnies.)

Warning: Wanton, kinda lonely Mara enclosed inside.

Warning: Wanton, un-naïve, un-jedi-ish Luke enclosed inside.

Caution! Meddling Force-figures who speak in LOTS of rhymes and ones that try to remedy the situation ALSO ENCLOSED INSIDE!

* * *

The redhead sat looking out the window, watching Coruscant traffic race through the airways; oddly enough she felt lonely. 

Mara never felt lonely. Alone, yes. Not lonely. Especially not this kind of lonely…

She closed her eyes with a sigh; her imagination took over, like it had been for the past days- nights, too. It was as if it was a holorecorder on the inside of her eyelids… with a constantly altering, but never truly changing, set of scenes.

Mara made herself open her eyes, stand up, and gotake an icy shower. That kind of body heat _had_ to be unnatural… but so far she had been unsuccessful in finding a cure.

"Child, damn that!"

"What, Master?"

"Child, damn that!"

"I heard what you said... what did you mean, Master?"

The wrinkly green Whill frowned. "Child, damn that! Say it, as you would, 'damn that child'! Patterns of speech you have, odd they are!"

"Master Yoda, you didn't even know her- so how could you damn her?" 'A Jedi Master of his integrity really shouldn't be cursing anyways. What is the Force coming to?'

"Obi-Wan, I think you might need a new approach." Anakin Skywalker approached, his ethereal form oddly seeming solid, as all Force-figures did. "Yoda! What the HELL is going on? Why are you damning Mara Jade?"

"Taking a hint from my visions I send, she is not!"

'Perverted little thing!' "Well, uhm, Master… we do know that Mara is-"

"PERVERTED, NOT I AM! PERVERTED WHILL, NOT SO!"

"Then how did you come up with the visions?" Obi-Wan chimed in.

"Ideas, I do have. Pervy, not they are-"

"Yoda!" Anakin's former master scolded the Whill. Even though he was enveloped in the Force and unable to change, the wrinkled green Jedi Master had… lost it. "Control yourself."

"Why, control should I?"

"Coherent sentence?"

"Coherent, that was! OVER IT, GET YOU SHALL!"

'Ooohhh brother…'

Luke sighed and rolled over. After a week in a hibernation trance in his X-wing, sleep was not one to come easily.

Finally, he slept… and though it was deep, it was restless. No thanks to Yoda, of course… damn pervy little Whill.

"Mara.. Mara..!"

"Yes?"

He spun on one heel to see her lying across his bed, clad only in... rather lacy black and emerald green lingerie. She was more… sprawled across his bed, actually, with one toe scratching her chin.

"Oh Lukie… Lukie Lukie Lukie mine, would you be my lovah?" Her singsong voice was completely un-Mara like and Luke didn't believe it for a moment.

"Would I? Hm." He pretended to think before suddenly the dream wavered. It was the Mara imposter, but Luke could do something!

So he did. He grabbed a blaster and aimed…

"YODA!" Anakin and Obi-Wan came storming towards the Whill.

"Yees? AI!" The Jedi Master fell over, twitching. "Supposed happen to, not was that.."

Luke woke up in a drenched sweat and instantly reached out to Mara. Her dreams were filled with something similar, but much more realistic. Somehow he got sucked into her dream.. and it went right this time!

Luke HAD been in the process of dancing rather seductively with Mara, both of them in their skivvies… suddenly, he became the actual Luke (not the squeaky-voiced freak), but with all of the same ideas.

"Mara.. you know.."

"Yes?" she asked, breathless.

"I think we've been dancing around each other enough." He scooped her up and slipped off into Mara's bedroom.. and the Force echoed their sighs.

"Thank god!" Anakin Skywalker commented as the knotted tension in the Force around his son and Mara Jade filtered away.

"I must tell you, Anni, that boy of yours has horrid intentions- as you did, if I remember correctly." Obi-Wan chuckled at the look on Anakin's face.

"You know I hate being called that, Obi-Wobi!"

"Oh, you're on…"

* * *

Yes. Very strange. Do I care? Not really. 

Keep in mind: I wrote this whilst under the influence of Tylenol and exhaustion.

Review, people.. if ya want.


End file.
